What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Therapy?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a compassionate communication process developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg that helps people understand their feelings and needs while fostering deeper connections. NVC therapists use this four-component model (observation, feelings, needs, requests) to facilitate self-compassion, mediate conflicts, and resolve inner ambivalence. It's practiced in therapeutic settings, schools, prisons, corporations, and international mediation, with Marriage and Family Therapists commonly specializing in this approach.
If you're considering a career in therapy, understanding different therapeutic approaches can help you find the right specialization. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a powerful process that's transforming how therapists help clients develop compassion and resolve conflicts. We spoke with Ali Miller, MFT, an expert in NVC therapy, to get an in-depth look at this compassionate approach and how it's used in clinical practice.
Table of Contents
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication process pioneered by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. NVC is used to help people understand and connect with themselves and with others. It's also known as Compassionate Communication because it promotes a compassionate approach to our own actions and those of others.
Ali Miller, MFT, explains the philosophical foundation of NVC:
There are three key principles in NVC:
- All humans have the same universal needs.
- Everything we do or say is an attempt to meet needs.
- Everybody's needs matter. When we look at our own and other people's behavior through the lens of these principles, and truly understand that we're all always simply trying to meet needs, blame and other kinds of violence decrease exponentially.
NVC helps us speak and listen in a way that focuses our attention on what is most alive in a person: their feelings and needs. This approach is efficient for Marriage and Family Therapists who work with couples and families navigating conflict.
The Four Components of NVC
Building on these three philosophical principles, Marshall Rosenberg developed a four-component model of communication. He also highlighted four key distinctions that help people communicate more compassionately:
| NVC Component | Distinction to Make | Clinical Application |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Observation | Observations vs. Evaluations/Judgments | Helps clients describe situations objectively without blame or interpretation |
| 2. Feelings | Feelings vs. Thoughts | Enables clients to identify and express authentic emotional experiences rather than mental interpretations |
| 3. Needs | Needs vs. Strategies | Allows for flexible problem-solving by identifying universal needs beneath specific actions or requests |
| 4. Requests | Requests vs. Demands | Improves communication patterns by asking in a way that respects others' autonomy versus coercing compliance |
Ali Miller explains how these distinctions work in practice:
Knowing these distinctions supports people in expressing themselves without blaming, demanding, or judging, which increases the likelihood of connecting. At the same time, through NVC we learn to listen to the feelings and needs alive in the person we're listening to, even if they are blaming, demanding, or judging, which also fosters connection.
For example, someone might say, "The service at this restaurant is terrible." Miller notes that NVC helps us recognize that beneath this judgment ("terrible") there are feelings and needs. We can get curious about what's really happening. Has this person been waiting for their food longer than expected, and are they feeling hungry and wanting to eat?
Another example: "I'm so lazy." What might someone be feeling and needing if they're judging themselves as lazy? Perhaps they're feeling worried and wanting more energy. Or maybe they're feeling stressed because they want to trust that they have the capacity to complete all the tasks on their to-do list.
Curiosity about feelings and needs is at the heart of empathy in NVC. When we start to relate to ourselves and others in this way, our judgments transform, and we become more connected to our own feelings and needs, as well as the feelings and needs of others.
Where NVC is Utilized
NVC is utilized in a wide range of settings. Its applications extend far beyond the therapy office, demonstrating its versatility as a communication and conflict resolution process.
Miller describes the breadth of NVC applications:
NVC is used in a wide variety of settings, such as mediating conflicts between countries, spouses, and coworkers, as well as in healthcare settings, schools, prisons, and corporations. It is also used in the therapeutic setting in various ways, such as facilitating self-compassion.
In therapeutic practice, when a therapist understands that all actions are attempts to meet needs, she can support her client in understanding their own behavior by guessing at what needs they are trying to meet through a specific behavior.
Similarly, if a client is feeling torn or ambivalent and struggling with a decision, NVC can be used to help mediate between the different inner parts of the client. Because NVC constantly reminds us of our shared humanity, it's a process that facilitates deep healing on the individual, couple, family, group, national, and global scale.
Many therapists who pursue online MFT degrees discover NVC during their graduate studies and choose to specialize in this approach after licensure.
Why Ali Chose to Practice NVC
Understanding why experienced therapists choose specific approaches can provide valuable insight for those considering a career in therapy. Miller shares her personal journey with NVC:
I read Marshall Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, in 2006, right before I got licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist, because a friend recommended it. Reading that book inspired me deeply, and ever since reading it I have been learning, practicing, studying, and now sharing NVC.
Miller identifies several reasons for her passion for this work:
The clarity of Rosenberg's teachings, the way NVC is built on principles that see the best in human beings, and the way it has helped me understand myself and others from a compassionate perspective are some of the reasons I am so passionate about it. NVC gives me hope that human beings have what it takes to relate to one another without resorting to violence, and this passion for nonviolence is something that NVC has awoken in me. It's like that passion was always there, but NVC shone a light on it.
After nine years of studying NVC, Miller still finds nothing more interesting or exciting than this work:
It is at once simple and profound, and because it is focused on how I relate to myself and others, I find it endlessly fascinating. My passion now is in sharing it with other therapists, because I find that many therapists don't know about NVC or don't understand the depth of what it has to offer. I think many people think of it as just another communication tool, but it is so much more than that.
NVC in Practice: A Clinical Example
To understand how NVC actually works in therapy, Miller provides a detailed example of how she uses it with clients. This process, known as Self-Integration, was developed by NVC trainer Inbal Kashtan and utilizes NVC principles to facilitate dialogue between conflicting inner parts.
I use NVC constantly with my clients, in various ways. Primarily, it is my theoretical orientation, in that my understanding of human behavior is that we do what we do and say what we say because we are always attempting to meet universal human needs. People I work with are often very critical of themselves, so one way I use NVC is to help people identify the needs of both the inner critic (the part of them that is self-critical) and the needs of the part of them being criticized.
Case Example: Working with Self-Criticism
Miller shares a hypothetical case to illustrate the NVC process:
Let's take a hypothetical client named Mary. Mary has a habit of eating sweets late at night when she gets home from work. In therapy, she often berates herself for this behavior, judging herself as weak and lacking in self-discipline. As her therapist, I would help her separate out two different parts of herself: the part that is choosing to eat the sweets late at night, and the part of her that criticizes her for making that choice. Since a core principle in NVC is that all actions are attempts to meet needs, and another core principle is that everybody's needs matter, I would help her understand the needs (and feelings) of both parts of Mary.
The therapeutic process involves giving each part its own voice:
In my office, I invite people to give each part a different chair, so when Mary is in one seat she will speak as the critical part, and I will listen for this part's feelings and needs. Once that part feels heard, I will ask her to move to a different seat to speak as the part that chose to eat the sweets late at night, and I will listen for that part's feelings and needs. Then, like in mediation between two different people, I facilitate a dialogue between the two parts of Mary, asking each part to listen to the other part and reflect back what's important to that part, until both parts feel heard by each other.
The result is powerful:
Once the parts both feel heard and understood, they are more connected, and are then in a position to work together on behalf of Mary, as opposed to being at war with one another. This is a process called Self-Integration, developed by an NVC trainer named Inbal Kashtan. It is a process I find to be extremely powerful and effective for facilitating inner peace.
Miller emphasizes that a significant part of her work with clients involves helping them identify their feelings and needs, and supporting them in finding strategies to meet those needs. She finds NVC to be an approach to working with people that fosters awareness, compassion, choice, and empowerment.
How to Become an NVC Therapist
If Miller's passion for NVC has inspired you, you might be wondering how to pursue this specialization yourself. Here's what you need to know about becoming an NVC therapist.
Educational Requirements
- Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT)
- Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW)
- Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC)
- Clinical Psychologists
According to US24 data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, Marriage and Family Therapists earn a median annual salary of $63,780 nationally. The lowest 10% earn around $42,610, while the top 10% earn over $111,610. Salaries vary significantly based on location, experience, specialization, and practice setting.
NVC Training and Certification
After obtaining your clinical license, you can pursue specialized NVC training through:
- The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)
- Certified NVC trainers internationally
- Multi-day workshops and intensive training programs
- Practice groups and mentorship opportunities
While there's no single "NVC certification" required to use NVC in therapy, many practitioners complete extensive training programs lasting several years to develop deep competency in this approach. The CNVC offers a certification process for those who wish to become certified NVC trainers.
Career Path
Most therapists discover NVC during or after completing their graduate studies. A typical path might look like:
- Earn a master's degree in marriage and family therapy, counseling, or social work (2-3 years)
- Complete supervised clinical hours (typically 2,000-4,000 hours, depending on state)
- Pass licensing exams and obtain state licensure
- Begin NVC training through workshops and study groups
- Integrate NVC into clinical practice over several years
- Pursue advanced NVC training and possibly become a trainer yourself
NVC vs Other Therapy Approaches
Understanding how NVC compares to other therapeutic approaches can help you determine if this specialization aligns with your interests and the populations you want to serve.
| Therapy Approach | Primary Focus | Key Techniques | Common Applications |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nonviolent Communication (NVC) | Understanding feelings and needs to foster compassion and connection | Four-component process (observation, feelings, needs, requests), empathic listening, self-empathy | Conflict resolution, self-compassion work, relationship issues, inner dialogue facilitation |
| Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) | Identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors | Thought records, behavioral activation, exposure, and cognitive restructuring | Anxiety disorders, depression, phobias, PTSD, OCD |
| Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) | Emotional regulation and distress tolerance through mindfulness | Mindfulness skills, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness modules | Borderline personality disorder, emotional dysregulation, self-harm behaviors, suicidal ideation |
| Person-Centered Therapy | Client's inherent capacity for growth and self-actualization | Unconditional positive regard, empathic understanding, genuineness/congruence | General personal growth, identity exploration, self-esteem issues, relationship concerns |
| Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) | Attachment and emotional bonding in relationships | Attachment theory application, emotional awareness, restructuring interaction patterns | Couples therapy, attachment trauma, relationship distress, family therapy |
NVC can be integrated with many of these approaches and shares philosophical common ground with person-centered and emotion-focused therapies. Many therapists who practice psychotherapy find that NVC enhances their existing therapeutic toolkit rather than replacing other modalities.
Research and Evidence-Based
While NVC has been widely adopted across various settings and many practitioners report positive outcomes, it's important to note that the research base for NVC is still developing. Systematic reviews have found that while preliminary studies show promise, particularly for reducing aggression and improving relationship satisfaction, more rigorous long-term studies are needed to establish its effectiveness across different populations and settings.
Current research suggests NVC may be beneficial for:
- Reducing verbal aggression and increasing prosocial communication
- Improving relationship satisfaction in couples
- Enhancing empathy and emotional awareness
- Supporting conflict resolution in various contexts
As with any therapeutic approach, NVC is most effective when practiced by well-trained clinicians who can integrate it appropriately with evidence-based treatments and adapt it to individual client needs. Prospective therapists should pursue comprehensive training and continue to engage with the emerging research literature on NVC's applications and outcomes.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does NVC stand for in therapy?
NVC stands for Nonviolent Communication, also known as Compassionate Communication. It's a therapeutic process developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg that focuses on helping people understand their feelings and needs while fostering compassionate connections with themselves and others.
How is NVC different from regular talk therapy?
NVC is distinguished by its four-component model (observation, feelings, needs, requests) and focus on four key distinctions that help people communicate without blame or judgment. While traditional talk therapy may explore feelings and needs, NVC offers a structured process for identifying the universal human needs underlying all behavior and communication.
Can NVC help with anxiety and depression?
NVC can be helpful for anxiety and depression, particularly when these conditions involve harsh self-criticism or difficulty in relationships. NVC helps clients develop self-compassion and understand the needs driving their feelings and behaviors. However, NVC is often most effective when integrated with other evidence-based treatments rather than used as a standalone intervention for clinical diagnoses.
Do I need special certification to practice NVC as a therapist?
You need to be a licensed mental health professional (such as an LMFT, LCSW, or LPC) to practice therapy using NVC. While there's no mandatory NVC certification for clinical practice, most practitioners complete extensive training through the Center for Nonviolent Communication or certified trainers to develop competency in this approach.
Where can I learn more about Nonviolent Communication?
The Center for Nonviolent Communication is the primary organization founded by Marshall Rosenberg. They offer resources, training programs, and a directory of certified NVC trainers worldwide. Marshall Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, is an excellent starting point for understanding the process.
What types of clients benefit most from NVC therapy?
NVC is particularly effective for clients dealing with relationship conflicts, self-criticism, difficulty expressing needs, people-pleasing patterns, and those seeking deeper self-awareness. It's also valuable in couples and family therapy settings where multiple perspectives need to be heard and respected.
How long does it take to see results with NVC therapy?
Results vary by individual and presenting issue. Some clients experience insights and shifts in perspective within the first few sessions, particularly in relation to self-compassion. However, deeply integrating NVC principles into daily life and relationships is an ongoing process that typically unfolds over months to years of practice.
What's the difference between NVC and other communication models?
Unlike communication models that focus primarily on skills or techniques, NVC is grounded in a philosophical understanding that all human behavior is an attempt to meet universal needs. This needs-based approach, combined with its structured four-component process and focus on empathy, distinguishes NVC from more technique-oriented communication training.
Key Takeaways
- NVC is built on three philosophical principles: All humans share universal needs, everything we do is an attempt to meet needs, and everybody's needs matter equally.
- The four-component NVC process —Observation (vs. evaluation), Feelings (vs. thoughts), Needs (vs. strategies), and Requests (vs. demands)—provides a structured approach to compassionate communication.
- NVC has broad applications: Beyond individual therapy, NVC is used in couples counseling, family therapy, schools, corporations, prisons, and even international conflict mediation.
- Self-Integration is a powerful NVC technique: This process, developed by NVC trainer Inbal Kashtan, helps clients mediate between conflicting inner parts, fostering self-compassion and inner peace.
- Becoming an NVC therapist requires clinical training first: You'll need to obtain licensure as an LMFT, LCSW, LPC, or psychologist before specializing in NVC through additional training programs offered by CNVC and certified trainers.
- Research on NVC is still in development: While many practitioners report positive outcomes and preliminary studies show promise, researchers call for more rigorous, long-term studies to establish effectiveness across diverse populations.
- The career outlook for MFTs is positive. According to BLS data, Marriage and Family Therapists who practice NVC earn a median annual salary of $63,780, with top earners making over $111,610.
Ready to Explore MFT Specializations?
If Ali Miller's work with Nonviolent Communication has inspired you, consider marriage and family therapy degree programs that offer training in diverse therapeutic approaches. Discover how you can develop expertise in compassionate communication and help clients foster deeper connections with themselves and others.
Explore MFT Programs
Conclusion: Finding Your Passion in Psychology
Ali Miller, MFT, is an excellent example of how a career in psychology can ignite passion within a therapist to specialize in a way that inspires both themselves and their clients. If you're destined to become a therapist, counselor, social worker, or psychologist, begin today by visiting the career path articles on careersinpsychology.org. Get your passion on!
Professional Disclaimer: This content is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide specific therapeutic advice or replace professional mental health treatment. If you're experiencing mental health concerns, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.
2024 US Bureau of Labor Statistics salary figures and job growth projections for Marriage & Family Therapists are based on national data, not school-specific information. Conditions in your area may vary. Data accessed October 2025.
